Hairball News

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) – Google announced its plans to break Wall Street tradition by initially offering shares to the public via an online auction. It remains unclear whether Google will be successful at avoiding the fate of many .COMs in recent years past.

By publicly outlining its plans for an unconventional IPO, Google is clearly attempting to bypass whatever negative effects that the hype surrounding this event could cause. The company is essentially trying to pop its own “bubble” of possible stock price inflation before it gets out of control and bursts in the future.

In order to reduce this possible inflation of stock prices, Google plans to offer initial shares to the public in an online auction. This will be no small event by any means. The company estimates that it may raise up to 2.7 billion dollars from the unique IPO. By attempting to prevent at least some of the over-inflation of its stock price before shares get to public buyers, is it possible for Google to avoid becoming “just another .COM”?

Hairballnews posed this question to expert Wall Street analyst Jack Ivy. Ivy responded, “Well, Ma’am, me and my mates are gonna buy all the shares we can get our mitts on!” It should also be noted that Jack Ivy is a Wallaby from Australia.

It appears that everyone and their pet human will be trying to get in on the action when Google finally goes public. No matter what attempts are made by its principals to prevent a fall-out, the enormous expectations surrounding the revolutionary company could very well lead to investor disappointment.

This story is far from over. In the mean time, you won’t catch this Kitty at any online auction. I’ll let the Wallabies be the Google Guinea Pigs.

BAGHDAD, Iraq (HBN) – The verdict is in. Iraq’s “temporary” flag design is very ugly.

The new flag, which was guided in design by U.S.-appointed leaders, has been determined to be repulsive in appearance. True, the flags of human nations are not normally a piece of fine art; however this flag is terribly alarming.

Many agree that this flag is garbage, including this Iraqi dentist and this well-spoken citizen of Iraq. It is also important to note that some of the Iraqis are unaffected by the flag, and understand that is just another move “forced” into place by the US and its puppet regime.

The most amusing part of the story comes from the actual designer itself. He has gone on record saying that the old flag was designed very poorly it combined rectangles and trapezoids.

I find it quite funny that humans would base their decisions for what is and isn’t appropriate based on shapes. It seems all a matter of perspective, but did anyone ever think about the fact that revolution itself is an irregular event? War could, in fact, be considered something that is unnatural or even asymmetric. The very essence of change is not one that is “regular” at all. Maybe humans haven’t figured that out yet.

Many would argue that all parties involved are doing “The Best” that they can to make Iraq a better, more peaceful place. However, still the voices of some are being muffled. And it is not the voices of the ones still rebelling. The radicals, the “terrorists”: It is the voice of the average Iraqi citizen (more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA (HBN) – Britney Spears is making a habit out of getting busy with the boyfriends and/or husbands of pregnant women.

Britney Spears has recently been linked with Kevin Federline. The relationship with Federline, who is described as a “scruffy Justin look-alike” by some tabloids and publications, is said to be about three weeks old. Federline appears to be the latest in what is becoming a list of men who have cheated on their pregnant wives or girlfriends with Pop singer Britney Spears. Although friends of Spears maintain that she would never knowingly be involved with a man who was taken, this certainly isn’t the first time Spears has been in the news for sketchy “affairs of the heart.”

Federline’s (ex)girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson from the TV comedy Moesha, has now said that she wants to “have a talk” with Britney Spears about her recent exploits with the man who is to be the father of her child. Jackson, now 7 months pregnant, has said Federline called her to tell her about the Spears relationship before she found out from the media. She also mentioned that the issue was not yet resolved with her former man. Hmm… do I smell a Cat Fight?

Spears was in the news last year for relations with backup dancer Columbus Short, who was married to Hollywood celebrity Brandi. Short’s wife also had a child on the way at the time of his affair with Spears. He has recently stated that the affair cost him his marriage.

Either Britney Spears likes to be in the news and the tabloids, or her “people” aren’t doing a very good job of helping her to investigate the men she is thinking about getting down with. You just can’t trust people though, can you Britney? I’m with you on that one.

In any case, it would be wise for Spears to thoroughly check out her men before she allows them to pass through the gates of her Pop Kingdom. The only thing that could be more humiliating then being identified as a homewrecker - multiple times - by the mass media would be to get your butt kicked in public by some guy’s pregnant girlfriend. If you’ve ever known a female when she was pregnant, you certainly know that would be possible.

I also have to deal with a lot of studs and have even been known to be a bit of a party animal. However, I can safely say that stealing the man of a pregnant female is just simply very bad form.