Hairball News

ROTTERDAM, The Netherlands (HBN) – There is a new fad crawling its way across Europe. In the Netherlands people are now going on waiting lists with hopes of some day getting Eye Jewelry implanted into their eyeballs.

The Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery is a clinic that you can go to in order to have jewelry implanted into your eye. Why would you want to do this? The verdict is still out on that question, but for between $600 and $1,200 USD you too can sport your very own Eye Jewelry. The procedure takes about 15-20 minutes to complete.

Aside from the risks associated with your eyeball rejecting the jewelry, there is also the question of the eternal itchy eyeball. Before, there was the tongue ring. Of course many would guess that this piece of jewelry may be one that could cause you to talk like a slobbering fool. Likewise, any creature who chooses to have their eyeball “pierced” may feel the urge to rip the little jewel out after it starts itching uncontrollably. The problem is, you can’t quite rub your eye like you used to when you have a jewel fused to it.

You can get anything from a circular jewel to a half moon inserted into your conjunctiva, otherwise known as the mucous membrane lining the surface of the front of your eyeball.

This is another story which obviously begs the question … “What the hell are the humans thinking?”

One of the lead doctors behind this project was recently quoted as saying, “So far we have not seen any side effects or complications and we don’t expect any in the future.”

“We don’t expect any…”?? Doesn’t that kind of leave the possibility open for side effects to just pop up (or out) in the future.

Hairballnews cannot recommend Eyeball Jewelry at this time. You won’t catch any sane mammals getting this done, that’s for damn sure.