Hairball News

BERLIN, GERMANY (HBN) — The German Conservatives have come out with a new doctrine. Insult their citizens by calling them “limp” in order to coerce them into having more kids. (more…)

TOKYO, JAPAN (HBN) — Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi may appear to be out campaigning in Japan - smiling and greeting citizens. However, you can’t be too sure. (more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA (HBN) — Hollywood actress Winona Ryder had her felony shoplifting charges reduced to misdemeanors this past week. This came after Ryder fully complied with a Beverly Hills Superior Court judge’s requests following her 2002 conviction. (more…)

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) — In an effort to thwart rouge sales of Gmail account invites being sold for Buku bucks on eBay, Google recently spammed current Beta testers of the E-mail service with plenty of invites to give away. (more…)

WASHINGTON, DC (HBN) — A new report by the United States Labor Department suggests that the “problem” of outsourcing of jobs to cheap foreign labor markets overseas has been exaggerated. In related news, CNN news broadcaster Lou Dobbs, the jack ass who makes up new, politically charged “Exporting of America” stories every night to draw higher ratings, got physically ill upon hearing the news. (more…)

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) — Recently it has been established that getting a Free Gmail Invite has truly become a lost cause. People are doing whatever it takes to get these invites, only to have their personal information scanned by the evil Googlebot, and served “relevant” ads while reading their Gmail. (more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA (HBN) — Mini-Me, also known as Verne Troyer, is seeking an annulment from his Ex - model Genevieve Gallen. The “Hot Blonde” who has yet to actually break into Hollywood is seriously sweating my dog Verne. She claims they were married some time last year. (more…)