Hairball News

6/25/2004

German Politicians Tell Men to “Have More Sex”

Filed under: Politics — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 4:56 pm

BERLIN, GERMANY (HBN) — The German Conservatives have come out with a new doctrine. Insult their citizens by calling them “limp” in order to coerce them into having more kids. (more…)

6/24/2004

Japanese Prime Minister Gets Stunt Double

Filed under: World News — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 10:05 pm

TOKYO, JAPAN (HBN) — Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi may appear to be out campaigning in Japan - smiling and greeting citizens. However, you can’t be too sure. (more…)

6/19/2004

Winona Ryder Felony Shoplifting Charges Reduced

Filed under: Entertainment — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 11:32 am

LOS ANGELES, CA (HBN) — Hollywood actress Winona Ryder had her felony shoplifting charges reduced to misdemeanors this past week. This came after Ryder fully complied with a Beverly Hills Superior Court judge’s requests following her 2002 conviction. (more…)

6/14/2004

Gmail Prices Drop on Ebay

Filed under: Tech / Science — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 6:49 pm

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) — In an effort to thwart rouge sales of Gmail account invites being sold for Buku bucks on eBay, Google recently spammed current Beta testers of the E-mail service with plenty of invites to give away. (more…)

6/12/2004

Outsourcing of Jobs not a Problem - Lou Dobbs Vomits

Filed under: Politics — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 12:41 am

WASHINGTON, DC (HBN) — A new report by the United States Labor Department suggests that the “problem” of outsourcing of jobs to cheap foreign labor markets overseas has been exaggerated. In related news, CNN news broadcaster Lou Dobbs, the jack ass who makes up new, politically charged “Exporting of America” stories every night to draw higher ratings, got physically ill upon hearing the news. (more…)

6/7/2004

Free Gmail Invites a Lost Cause

Filed under: Tech / Science — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 6:02 pm

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) — Recently it has been established that getting a Free Gmail Invite has truly become a lost cause. People are doing whatever it takes to get these invites, only to have their personal information scanned by the evil Googlebot, and served “relevant” ads while reading their Gmail. (more…)

6/5/2004

Mini-Me Seeking Annulment from Hot Model

Filed under: Entertainment — Funny Stuff via Funny Cats @ 6:40 am

LOS ANGELES, CA (HBN) — Mini-Me, also known as Verne Troyer, is seeking an annulment from his Ex - model Genevieve Gallen. The “Hot Blonde” who has yet to actually break into Hollywood is seriously sweating my dog Verne. She claims they were married some time last year. (more…)

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