Hairball News

BOSTON, MA (HBN) — The federal government will supervise the distribution of flu vaccine stocks that have not yet been shipped, health officials said yesterday, adding that they have already diverted about 4 million doses to areas with the greatest need. Meanwhile, different cities who only have very limited amounts have reverted to having a circus, and shooting darts into the bottoms of those lucky individuals willing to be clowns.

The announcement came a week after officials said they learned that half the nation’s expected vaccine supply for the coming winter would not be available because British regulators had found manufacturing problems at the Liverpool plant of one of the two U.S. suppliers, Chiron Corp. The only other manufacturer, Aventis Pasteur, has produced 55.4 million doses, but nearly two-thirds of that supply has already been distributed, company officials said yesterday.

Basically, everyone is screwed because the government couldn’t get its crap together. So, when your sick, be certain to think seriously about all of those tax deductions you can take that normally you would forget about.