Hairball News

New York, NY (HBN) - Sears and K-Mart have inked a merger deal that will make them one very large “company.” (more…)

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) — It’s official. Google will offer it’s stock to shareholders in an online auction at $108 to $135 per share. Google, the world’s most used search engine, recently presented information to investors in New York. (more…)

GOOD OL’ BOYS WHQ (HBN) – For $9.95 you too can own a pair of John Kerry Flip-Flops. www.KerryFlips.com is a conservative website that wants you to “Wear Original KerryFlips Products and Support Conservative Values”.

The website has reportedly received a lot of traffic. Its owner has been quoted as saying:

“A couple months ago I was just sitting at home and watching the news and just thinking, ‘Kerry’s flip-flopping on so many things — I just wish he would take a stand on something,’ ” said Kurt Aeschlimann from Knoxville, who described himself as a conservative. “Then you started hearing the phrase ‘flip-flopping’ in the news more, and quite frankly, it just hit my funny bone.”

The text of the website continues:

“Support President Bush when you wear this summer’s best-selling political product! You know John Kerry flip-flops on the issues… now you can show this truth to the rest of the world when you wear these custom designed Flip Flops and T-Shirts. Conservative Beachware at it’s best!”

No, that’s not all:

“Order today and receive a FREE ‘John Kerry, the Original Flip-Flop’ screensaver!”

Hmmm… you’ve got to be joking me.

NEW YORK, NY (HBN) – Rabbits everywhere are going “ga-ga” for the new Swatch billboard in Times Square. The billboard depicts several rabbits in X-Rated positions on the face of a Swatch watch. “Bunnysutra” is what the new line of watches is called.

“Touch your swatch, pick your position,” states the Swatch billboard. The ad is kicking off the new “Bunnysutra” Swatch line, featuring the company’s “touch” technology. When touched, the clock hands land on “happy bunny positions,” according to a Swatch news release.

Although several tourists are disgusted by the ads, rabbits are especially happy. It shows them doing one of the things they do best.

“Good show… Jolly good show!” was the reaction from Fred Biely - an English rabbit visiting New York City.

A spokesperson for Swatch Group US dismissed the concerns: “Swatch is always very tongue in cheek. This is a playful, fun ad.”

Tongue in cheek? Or…

Well, nevermind.

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (HBN) – Google announced its plans to break Wall Street tradition by initially offering shares to the public via an online auction. It remains unclear whether Google will be successful at avoiding the fate of many .COMs in recent years past.

By publicly outlining its plans for an unconventional IPO, Google is clearly attempting to bypass whatever negative effects that the hype surrounding this event could cause. The company is essentially trying to pop its own “bubble” of possible stock price inflation before it gets out of control and bursts in the future.

In order to reduce this possible inflation of stock prices, Google plans to offer initial shares to the public in an online auction. This will be no small event by any means. The company estimates that it may raise up to 2.7 billion dollars from the unique IPO. By attempting to prevent at least some of the over-inflation of its stock price before shares get to public buyers, is it possible for Google to avoid becoming “just another .COM”?

Hairballnews posed this question to expert Wall Street analyst Jack Ivy. Ivy responded, “Well, Ma’am, me and my mates are gonna buy all the shares we can get our mitts on!” It should also be noted that Jack Ivy is a Wallaby from Australia.

It appears that everyone and their pet human will be trying to get in on the action when Google finally goes public. No matter what attempts are made by its principals to prevent a fall-out, the enormous expectations surrounding the revolutionary company could very well lead to investor disappointment.

This story is far from over. In the mean time, you won’t catch this Kitty at any online auction. I’ll let the Wallabies be the Google Guinea Pigs.